DV Education



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DV Education

Celebrating
20 Years of Service
to the
Asian American Community

HAFA is informing the Hmong Community of the Marquette Interchange Project,
to read more about it
click here.

or visit
mchange.org

Domestic Violence Education | What Is Domestic Violence | Domestic Abuse Occurs in at Least 1 Out of 3 Families | The Ten Earliest Signs of an Abusive Person | The Effects of Domestic Abuse on Children | Other Links About Domestic Violence

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE EDUCATION

The domestic violence education program at Hmong American Friendship Association Inc.(HAFA) provides services to TANF eligible families. TANF (Temporary Assistance to Needy Familes) eligible families are defined as those with incomes at or below 250% of the federal poverty level with a minor child in the household. Our goals are to enhance the capacity of domestic violence agencies to meet the many complex needs of domestic violence victims and their children, assist victims of domestic violence to achieve both safety and self sufficiency and provide accessible, effective and culturally appropriate services to victims of domestic violence from traditionally under-represented groups.

HAFA currently has many different workshops that are offered for the South East Asian community throughout the year to learn about domestic violence. All the workshops are free and open to the public. For more information on these and other workshops or in-services, please contact MayTong Chang at (414) 344-6575 Ext.230 or email maytong@hmongamer.org.

If you are a victim of domestic abuse and need help or if you know of someone who is a victim of domestic abuse; please call the following toll free hotline. There will be someone to answer your call 24 hours a day. All calls are confidential.

1-888-345-5898

WHAT IS DOMESTIC VIOLENCE?

Kev tsim txom yog ib tug kab mob rau txhua tus neeg uas loj heev tsis paub kho kom zoo. Thawj txoj kev uas yuav pab tau, thiab rhuav tshem mus yog kev cob qhia kom sawv daws paub tias muaj txoj kev tsim txom no.

Link to: http://www.wcadv.org/?go=gethelp/faqs

DOMESTIC ABUSE OCCURS IN AT LEAST 1 OUT OF 3 FAMILIES…

Source: Milwaukee Women’s Center.

Domestic abuse starts before we are born: Domestic abuse is the leading cause of birth problems in the United States.
Child sexual abuse is domestic abuse: 1 out of 3 female and 1 out of 5 male children will be sexually abused before the age of 18; over 70% by someone in their extended family system.
Domestic abuse is absorbed in childhood: Children who watch abuse are 700 times more likely to repeat it with their partners. Children who are also abused are 1000 times more likely to repeat it with their partners.
Domestic violence has its roots in sexual harassment: By junior high, high levels of interpersonal abuse have become sexual harassment, increasingly male on female. By junior high, at least 1 out of 10 students has already been in a dating relationship with violence.
Dating violence begins as soon as dating begins: By high school, at least 4 out of 10 students have already been in a relationship with violence.
Dating violence continues to increase throughout young adulthood: By college, at least 6 out of 10 students have been in a relationship where there is violence.
Marriage never fixes violence in a relationship: 2 out of 3 marriages have at least 1 incidence of battering. 1 out of 7 married women is beaten up weekly; 1 out of 2 women will be raped-over 70% by husband and or boyfriend; 1 out of 4 women will be in a long term abusive relationship she finds difficult to leave.
The problem never goes away by itself: Women over 55 are abused in the same numbers as younger women, but are less likely to report. Older women become vulnerable to another abuser such as their adult child, usually a son, many times, who has grown up in a violent household.

Domestic abuse is lethal. Every single day in the United States between 4 and 10 women are murdered by their husbands or male partners….

THE TEN EARLIEST SIGNS OF AN ABUSIVE PERSON

Adapted from: “Danger Ahead: Early Warning Signs of Teen Dating Violence” in Sousa, Bancroft. German’s Preventing Teen Dating Violence c/o Dating Violence Intervention Project, P.O. Box 530. Harvard Square Station, Cambridge MA 02238; (617) 868-8328

1. JEALOUSY AND POSSESIVENESS:

Falsely accuses you of flirting or worse, says, “You belong to me.”
Uses jealousy as an excuse to mistreat you
Won’t except breaking up when you want to
Says’ “I’ll kill myself if you leave me” or “If I can’t have you, nobody can.”

2. CONTROL:

Is bossy
Tells you what to think or what you can r cannot do
Tries to keep you from family, friends, or activities
Insists on making all the decisions

3. VERBAL ABUSE:

Over 75% of couples where there is verbal abuse PROGRESS TO PHYSICAL ABUSE ONLY ONE YAER LATER!
Verbal abuse is the first step every abuser takes in moving towards physical abuse.
Verbal abuse means name calling, put downs, foul language – even if it’s not directed at you in the beginning.

4. IS SCARY:

You are nervous or afraid if you don’t do exactly as they tell you to.
They are always threatening to hurt someone or something.
They punch walls, break things, or throw things at you when they are mad.

5. PRESSURES YOU:

· They pressure you into sex, drugs, alcohol, or any other activity you are not completely comfortable with.

· They threaten to break up with you if you don’t do what they want.

6. BLAMES OTHERS, BLAMES YOU:

They blame you if they mistreat you.
They blame others when things go wrong.
They never take responsibility for their problems or behavior.

7. HISTORY OF VIOLENCE:

They grew up in an abusive or violent family.
They used abuse or violence with their previous dates.
They get into lots of fights.

8. USES VIOLENCE TO SOLVE PROBLEMS OR FOR ENJOYMENT:

They use violence or threats to get their way.
They enjoy violent movies, pornography.
They carry weapons and use them to intimidate people.
They use violence when they play sports.
They enjoy seeing people get hurt.

9. THINK THEY HAVE A RIGHT TO BE IN CONTROL:

They think certain people, such as men or women, or adults, or certain racial groups have a right to tell other people such as women, or men, or children, or other racial groups what to do.
They think they are better than other people.
They think it is okay to force other people to go along with them.

10. YOUR FAMILY OR FRIENDS DON’T LIKE THEM:

Your family or friends have told you they are worried about you.
Your family or friends don’t want to be around you when you are with that person.
Since your family or friends are not “in love” with the person, they can see a side of that person that you may be blind to.

THE EFFECTS OF DOMESTIC ABUSE ON CHILDREN

Source: Milwaukee Women’s Shelter

Children in violent homes are abused or neglected at a rate 1500% higher than the national.
Children in violent homes suffer stress related memory repression, inability to concentrate and learn, amnesia, flashbacks.
More than 80% of people in prison grew up in violent homes.
63% of youth ages 11-20 who are incarcerated for homicide killed their mother’s abusers.
Children who grow up in violent homes can become aggressive, even as babies.
Children who grow up in violent homes suffer from post traumatic stress disorder, hyperactivity, attention deficit disorder, learning and developmental delays, mental health problems…
Children who grew up in violent homes cope by acting out aggression, role-reversal with adults, being controlling, under-achieving, withdrawing, regressing, escaping, over-achieving.
Mothers who are battered are 8 times more likely to abuse their children.
Children in violent homes are hurt or killed by items that are thrown, or because they are in their mothers’ arms when she is battered, or because they try to protect their mother.
Children from violent homes are at high risk for drug and alcohol abuse, juvenile delinquency, runaway, gang activities, incarceration, eating disorders, sexual addiction and suicide.
50% of the children in violent homes will be sexually abused by the person who is abusing their mother.
70% of children in violent homes will be physically abused or neglected by the same person who is abusing their mother.
50% of girls will become victims.
60% of boys will become victims.

KOJ PUAS UA NEEJ NYOB NROG KEV TSIM TXOM?

Koj puas narug ntaus, yuam deev, los yog raug cem lus dev lus npua, raug thaum ua rau koj chim siab raug khoo los ntawm tus neeg uas koj tab tom nrog nyob ua niamtxiv los nkaujnraug?

Koj raug ntaus los yuam deev yog muaj leej twg:

Thawb los chua koj, xuas cuav pias, tom koj, ncaws, ntaus, zawm caj pas, liaj koj qhov rau nraum zoov thiab ntiab koj, coj koj mus tso pov tseg rau tej chaw tsis zoo, tsis pab koj thaum muaj mob los yog cev xeeb tub, yuam mos koj thiab muab los yog siv riam phom los hem koj.

Koj raug txoj kev nyuaj siab yog muaj leej twg:

Ntxeev koj kev xav, thuam koj, hu tej lub npev phem rau koj los yog nthe koj, txwv tsis pub koj ua hauj lwm los yog siv nyiaj, tsis pub yuam sij tsheb rau koj mus qhov twg, thiab hem yuav ua phem rau koj los yog koj tsev neeg.

Koj yuav muaj xwm txheej loj heev yog koj tus hlub:

Hem los yog xav txog kev tuag, muaj riam phom; muaj kev mob hlwb mob siab, ua phem rau tej tsiaj, hais tias tsis xav ua neeg nyob yog tsis muaj koj, soj nraim los yog nyob ze saib koj txhua txoj kev.

Yog koj tus hlub muaj cov yam ntxwv zoo li saum no, cia li nrhiav kev pab thiab qhia lwm tus.

Txhua Tus Tiv Mob Los Ntawm Kev Tsim Txom Hauv Tsev Neeg

Tus neeg raug tsimtxom tau txais:

Kev raug mob hnyav heev rau lub cev, los yog kev tuag; muaj kev ntxhov siab, xws li kev nyuaj siab, kev saib tus kheej tsis muaj nug nqes, kev ntshai xav tsis thoob; muaj teebmeem tom chaw ua haujlwm, poob haujlwm thiab tsis muaj nyiaj.

Tus neeg tsimtxom (ua phem) tau txais:

Saib tus kheej tsis muaj nqes, yuav ua rau nws ua phem mus li; teebmeem nrog kevcai lijchoj, raug nplua thiab kaw qhov taub; mauj teebmeem tom chaw ua haujlwm, poob haujlwm thiab tsis muaj nyiaj; yuav raug kev tsistxom los ntawm tus uas nws muab tsimtxom dhau los lawm; yuav muaj kev tsimtxom nyob hauv nws lub neej tag nws ib sim neej yog tsis nrhiav kev pab.

Pejxeem tiv mob los ntawm:

Kev cai lij choj thiab kev noj haus los ntawm txoj kev raug ntes, kev sib hais plaub thiab kev raug kaw ntawm tus neeg ua phem thiab tsimtxom (thiab ntxiv rau kev xwm txheej rau cov tub ceevxwm); nuj nqes ntawm txoj kev ua phem uas pejxeem yuav raug them; kev lag luam raug li ntawm $3-5 txheeb vam rau ib xyoo vim mus ua tsis tau haujlwm.

Menyuam yaus uas pom cov laus ib tug tsimtxom ib tug yuav muaj teebmeem raws li nram no:

Tsis tuaj zog; ua tsis tau dabtsi, nkees heev thiab pw tas li xwb; chim siab heev; tsis nyiam suab nrov; niaj hnub ua kom zoo tshaj txhua tus thiab txhua yam xwb.

Ua Li Cas Thiaj Paub Thiab Pab Tau Tus Neeg Raug Tsim Txom

Nco ntsoov tias feem coob ntawm cov neeg uas raug kev tsim txom yeej txaj muag qhia tej kev tsim txom no rau lwm tus.

Tej cim uas qhia tau rau koj paub tias tus neeg uas raug kev tsim txom lawm yog nqaij doog tej thaj qhia tsis tau, tsis kam tham los sis ntaus kev phooj ywg rau leej twg, qhaj hauj lwm heev thiab tsis mus kawm ntawv.

Yog leej twg qhia koj tias nws raug kev tsim txom, koj yauv tsum ntseeg nws.

Mloog nws hais thiab tsis txhob thaum nws.

Qhia kom nws paub tias muaj lwm txoj kev taug thiab nws tsis tag yuav nyob nrog kev tsim txom vim muaj kev pab rau nws.

Tus Neeg Raug Tsim Txom Yuav Ua Licas?

Yuav tsum tau npaj-ua daim ntawv tiv thaiv.

Lub sijhawm uas tsis muaj teebmeem lawm, tus raug tsimtxom muaj cai txiav txim siab nyob, cia siab tias tus neeg phem yauv pauv. Tseem ceem heev yuav tsum muaj daim ntawv kaj huv nyob tsam ho rov qab muaj kev tsim txom ntxiv.

Hu luv tsev cawm siav. Nrhiav kev pab txog hais plaub ntug, lub tsev cawm siav thiab lwm yam kev pab uas muaj rau koj ua ntej koj yuav tau siv tej kev pab ntawd.

Tham nrog tej tus neeg tom koj chaw ua haujlwm uas koj ntseeg xws li koj tus nai uas saib koj, los yog koj tus nai loj, thiab cov neeg saib cov ua haujlwm.

Hais rau cov tub ceevxwm tom haujlwm txog koj daim ntawv tiv thaiv. Muab tus neeg uas tsim txom koj daim duab thiab daim ntawv txwv rau tub ceevxwm. Yog tias koj lawb hauj lwm lig, hais kom cov tub ceev xwm hauv koj qhov chaw ua hauj lwm ua koj luag mus ntawm koj lub tsheb.

Saib kev kaj huv ntawm koj cov menyuam thiab lawv kev kawm ntawv.

Muab tug neeg phem ntawd daim duab thiab koj daim ntawv txwv (uas txwv tsis pub tus neeg phem tuaj ze cov menyuam) rau qhov chaw zov koj cov menyuam thiab tsev kawm ntawv.

Npaj ib lub hnab rau koj uas muaj cov khoom no:

Khaub ncaws; nyiaj ntsuab, phau ntawv sau nyiaj, ntawv cia nyiaj tom lub tuam txhab rau nyiaj, daim ntawv qhia hnub yug, daim ntawv social security, menyuam daim ntawv xav tshuaj, thiab daim ntawv kho mob; cov ntaub ntawv qhia nyiaj txiag them nqe tsev, nqe tsheb, thiab lwm yam.

Khaws koj lub hnab khoom rau ib qhov chaw zoo, qhov chaw uas tus neeg phem tsis pom thiab muab tsis tau.

Paub hais tias koj yuav khiav mus nyob qhov twg thiab yuav mus li cas thiaj mus txog txawm yog tias koj muaj kev sibntaus thaum ib tab hmo.

Khiav tawm ntawm txoj kev tsim txom yog tau, thiab coj koj cov menyuam nrog koj mus.

Yog koj xav tau kev pab los yog koj paub leej twg raug kev tsim txom es koj xav pab nws, hu rau tus xov tooj no. Muaj neeg yuav pab tau koj 24 teev. Hu tuaj dawb xwb. Txhua lo lus koj hais yuav tsis pub qhia rau leej twg paub.

1-888-345-5898

KOJ PUAS PAUB…

Muaj txog li ntawm 60 feem pua tsev neeg raug tsim txom nyob hauv lawv lub tsev.
Kev sib ntaus hauv tsev yog thawj txoj kev ua rau cov pojniam raug mob nyob rau hauv lub teb chaws no.
3 txog 4 lab tus poj niam raug ntaus txhua xyoo.
Kev tsim txom sib ntaus hauv tsev muaj rau txhua haiv neeg tsis hais tus pluag los nplua nuj, tus laus, tus hluas, menyuam, poj niam los txiv neej.
Yog tsis qhia, yeej tsis muaj leej twg paub txog.
Kev tsim txom muaj peev xwm ua rau ib tus neeg raug mob loj heev los yog tuag.
Muaj ntau zaus kev sib ntaus pib, los yog muaj heev zuj zus, thaum tus pojniam lub cev xeeb tub.
Thaum pib muaj kev tsim txom lawm, nws tsuas muaj ntxiv thiab muaj loj zuj zus xwb.
2 feem 3 tus neeg uas tsim txom nws tus hlub kuj tsim txom nws cov menyuam thiab.
Feem coob ntawm cov menyuam uas pom txoj kev tsim txom los kev sib ntaus sib tua yuav raug lwm tus tsim txom nws los yog nws yuav xyaum tau txoj kev tsim txom ntawd mus siv rau lwm tus neeg, nws yuav muaj teeb meem hais txog txoj kev siv tshuaj, yaj yeeb, thiab haus dej caw, khiav mus ua lojleeb thaum hluas thiab muaj teebmeem hauv tsev kawm ntawv.